Women Corner

Infidelity in any relationship is a difficult issue, as this is one of the main problems facing couples which is serious enough to cause a break up. It is important when you start a new relationship that you make sure the other person understands how you feel about this issue, as you may have been hurt in the past by infidelity and know it is not something you are willing to forgive or move on from again.

Coping With Infidelity
People can cheat on their partners for a number of reasons, and the circumstances can differ from a one night stand through to a whole relationship being carried out on the side, so it is important that if you discover that your partner has been unfaithful that you take some time to stop and think, and don’t make any hasty decisions whilst you are still in the grip of hurt and shock. Think very carefully about how your relationship has been working, and whether there have been any other cracks appearing recently that may have led your partner to seek intimacy with another person. Consider whether there have been any particular stresses or pressures on your relationship, and if you have in fact been gradually drifting apart. Basically you need to reassess your whole relationship and work out whether infidelity is the only problem, and whether or not the foundations of your relationship are strong enough to work through all of the problems your future together may be facing.

If you have found out that your partner has been cheating on you, then you need to let them know how you feel as soon as soon as you have calmed down a bit. Choose a quiet, private environment for this confrontation and try and keep your cool, as if you get angry and start shouting straight away you will not give your partner a chance to explain themselves. Keep this confrontation short, and don’t slug it out until you are both mentally and emotional exhausted, and spend some time on your own afterwards so that you can have a really careful think about what has been said for at least a few hours. It is only natural that you will be angry and hurt, but don’t keep bringing the subject up every time you speak to your partner and constantly blaming and picking at them, as this will not be helpful and will make them defensive and angry too – they may well feel that their infidelity had something to do with the way the relationship had been working, and are looking for you to understand them at least, even if you cannot forgive them.

Move Forward
If you do find you are able to work through infidelity and give your relationship another shot then it is important that you move on from your place of anger and hurt. You may need to see a counsellor to help you to do this, especially if you find yourself becoming fixated on the infidelity and thinking about it constantly. If you decide you cannot forgive the infidelity, or realise that your relationship is not strong enough to work through it, then it is also important that you both make a decision to move on, so that you can start building yourselves new lives separately, away from the pain and hurt of these experiences.

• Relationship Advice – Dealing With Infidelity