Women Corner

Relationships Problems – Money

September 7th, 2009 |

Author: admin

Money can be one of the most common causes of conflict in a relationship, particularly for those couples that live together and
share large financial commitments such as a mortgage or rental agreement. It is important to deal with any disagreement or
resentments about money and finances as quickly as possible with your partner, as these serious concerns can soon start to erode
the foundations of a relationship and could spell big trouble in the future.

Attitudes to Money
Everyone is brought up in different circumstances, so you cannot expect your partner to have the same attitudes to money as you
right from the beginning of your relationship. They may have always been used to a financial safety net, and so feel less
concerned about money worries than you or it may be the other way around, and these fundamental differences in attitude can
cause a lot of underlying tension. You do both need to step back and think carefully about your own attitudes to money, and
whether these are now appropriate to your current circumstances. If you have always had money, but suddenly times have
become hard it is essential you readjust your thinking, and realise that you might not be able to spend money as freely as you
once did. You should think carefully about how your more relaxed attitude towards your strained finances may be affecting your
partner, who may actually be very concerned about the situation.

Talk About It
The fundamental problem with money issues in a relationship is that the couple do not communicate with each other early on, and
any concerns are allowed to fester and grow until they reach very serious proportions. It is difficult to talk about money at the start
of a relationship, but this is the time when you are getting to know each other and so you should use this opportunity to set some
ground rules about finances in place, as there is nothing worse then pretending you are happy about the way the money issues
are dealt with only to harbour concerns or even resentments that can flare up at a later date.

Financial Plan
If you have concerns about money sit down and talk to your partner about them. You may feel you are bearing the brunt of the
financial commitments, but when you actually talk about it you may find out that your partner covers the costs of things you hadn’t
even considered, and that actually the both of you are sharing the finances more equally than you first realised. This is where a
comprehensive financial plan can be beneficial, as it will help you to set out all of your financial commitments, and show exactly
how these are being met and balanced in your relationship, and will help you and your partner to arrange these more fairly into the
future.

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